Finding a Job is Like This...

I'm a planner by nature. I like to plan things and I like them planned well in advance. I mean well in advance. I remember I was 12 years old and completely unnerved and panicked that I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. My parents kept telling me not to worry about it, it was still a long ways off and I had plenty of time to figure it out. To me, I felt more like I only had six years before I would finish high school and six years was just not enough time to get good at something to get a good job.

Boy was I right. Ha. 

I've gotten past the half-way mark to this last semester of college. Graduation is coming in just two months. Two months and I have no idea what my fate is. 

The job searching process is dreadful. I stare down my resume, I painstakingly edit and rewrite my cover letter. No, you can't write PLESSE GIIVE ME JOBB I NEED TO EAT FOOD. I attached my beautiful resume to the online application and then proceed to fill out the electronic form giving the same exact information on my resume. (Seriously, why can't these people just read my resume. It's RIGHT there!) Spell check. Grammar check. Desperation check. 

Job interviews aren't much better. The problem is that I enjoy thinking. I enjoy thinking quite a lot. Interviews aren't times for thinking. You're asked question and if you don't answer it within a moment you look reaaaaaallllly slow. Which is awful because additionally they ask these very open-ended questions. Tell me about yourself. Me? Uhhh...

Oh, it's not because I can't think of anything to answer. It's because I've thought up too many answers and managed to confuse myself because...well, here I am. Someone just asked me who I am, and what exactly do they want from me? Is this a tell me where you're from and what you're going to college for? Or is this a tell me about your hobbies and interests? My personality color? (Unlikely, they're not really interested in ME, they're interested in getting work done. Which is totally fair. I'd feel the same way if owned a business.) 

Or is this a check to see how obsessed I am with accounting and they want to hear how I spend my weekends playing with numbers in Excel, reading The Wall Street Journal and learning a little Python in order to optimize my use of certain accounting applications. Because, baby, if the price is right, between 9-to-5 you own my time and I'll do exactly that if you'd like.

What job searching doesn't allow you is to plan. You can plan which jobs you apply for, what career path you set off on, but the fact of the matter is you can pick a company, but they may not pick you. It isn't entirely fun being in a job interview, chatting up a manager who has too much control over your fate by deciding to hire you or not.

Well, here's to hoping for good things to come, eh?