Finding a Job is Like This...

I'm a planner by nature. I like to plan things and I like them planned well in advance. I mean well in advance. I remember I was 12 years old and completely unnerved and panicked that I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. My parents kept telling me not to worry about it, it was still a long ways off and I had plenty of time to figure it out. To me, I felt more like I only had six years before I would finish high school and six years was just not enough time to get good at something to get a good job.

Boy was I right. Ha. 

I've gotten past the half-way mark to this last semester of college. Graduation is coming in just two months. Two months and I have no idea what my fate is. 

The job searching process is dreadful. I stare down my resume, I painstakingly edit and rewrite my cover letter. No, you can't write PLESSE GIIVE ME JOBB I NEED TO EAT FOOD. I attached my beautiful resume to the online application and then proceed to fill out the electronic form giving the same exact information on my resume. (Seriously, why can't these people just read my resume. It's RIGHT there!) Spell check. Grammar check. Desperation check. 

Job interviews aren't much better. The problem is that I enjoy thinking. I enjoy thinking quite a lot. Interviews aren't times for thinking. You're asked question and if you don't answer it within a moment you look reaaaaaallllly slow. Which is awful because additionally they ask these very open-ended questions. Tell me about yourself. Me? Uhhh...

Oh, it's not because I can't think of anything to answer. It's because I've thought up too many answers and managed to confuse myself because...well, here I am. Someone just asked me who I am, and what exactly do they want from me? Is this a tell me where you're from and what you're going to college for? Or is this a tell me about your hobbies and interests? My personality color? (Unlikely, they're not really interested in ME, they're interested in getting work done. Which is totally fair. I'd feel the same way if owned a business.) 

Or is this a check to see how obsessed I am with accounting and they want to hear how I spend my weekends playing with numbers in Excel, reading The Wall Street Journal and learning a little Python in order to optimize my use of certain accounting applications. Because, baby, if the price is right, between 9-to-5 you own my time and I'll do exactly that if you'd like.

What job searching doesn't allow you is to plan. You can plan which jobs you apply for, what career path you set off on, but the fact of the matter is you can pick a company, but they may not pick you. It isn't entirely fun being in a job interview, chatting up a manager who has too much control over your fate by deciding to hire you or not.

Well, here's to hoping for good things to come, eh? 

My Dating Advice

I was resisting writing this blog post as a newlywed. I feel that as a newlywed, everyone discounts what I have to say about love and marriage. Those of you who are single think I just got lucky and I no longer understand the plight of the single lady. Those who have been married longer tell me I'm in the "Honeymoon Stage" and I'm too blissful to possibly comprehend how horrible things are. (This one I understand the least...why can't you be happy? I don't understand what's wrong with being happy.)

So, at the request of a friend, here is my dating advice from a no-nothing newlywed.

1. Directed towards the ladies...Guys understand direct. A lot of women find themselves hinting or just trying to "be around" and hope the guy they're interested in notices them. Sure, you can be ladylike and politely wait for attention...but odds are you're only going to find the excessively aggressive date-seekers and players. You could really miss out on a sweetheart of  a guy who might be a little on the shy side or who's self confidence needs a little boost.

I'm not saying you have to ask him out. (Though, it's an option...I just wasn't a fan of it.) I'm saying it's okay to tell a guy you think he's good-looking. Tell him you think he's fun to be around. Things like this establish to him the idea you like him, you've complimented him directly, given him a proper self esteem boost, he should feel a lot more comfortable asking you out.

Here's a good tip: if you think you're being obvious take it up a couple notches and then you are being obvious.

I would even suggest going a step further for certain cases. Use your judgement, obviously. A lot of guys have this idea in their head that there is some big feminist movement that excuses them completely from initiating dates. As a result, they believe they can wait long enough and she'll ask him out and pay for his dinner. Not okay. Right?

So, here's where you can nonchalantly suggest, "You should ask me out." If that's a little brazen for your personality/tastes, you can also go for the "Have you heard about? I would love to go to that (with someone)" This is great because you've made yourself very easy to ask out. There's a date plan set up he knows you'll like and it's directed at him. He has few excuses to not ask you out. 

If he doesn't pick up on that...don't worry. Either he's a little lacking in the IQ or your gaydar malfunctioned. Or perhaps he just doesn't like you. That's okay, move on.

Okay gentlemen, here's your advice: Ask her out. The majority of women still expect you to make the first move. Even if she is the type to ask a gentleman out...just ask her out anyway. She'll never consider you if you don't make yourself known.

2. You're already flirting. I swear everyone thinks they don't know how to flirt. Guess what! You do! Flirting is as easy as giving someone all your attention. Flirting isn't necessary the witty word play and accompanying giggles. It can be, but it isn't always. Paying sincere attention to the individual and a well placed, thoughtful compliment and you've successfully flirted.

3. Keep encouraging them. Big mistake I see made...people flirt and flatter and are so sweet to their love interest and then suddenly they clam up and get shy. The key is to keep the encouragement coming throughout the relationship development and the relationship including after you've married them. You have got to continue show you care about them and love them. That's the thing people love about being in a relationship, if you take that out what do you have?

4. It's okay to have expectations, just make sure you meet them. Let's be honest with ourselves. We want to marry rich.Who can resist the allure of being wedded to someone who has so noble a title as Doctor? CEO? Attorney? Here's the thing. If you want to marry someone smart, you need to be smart.

Expecting a super athlete 0% body fat kind of person and currently you are, well, a soft pudgy marshmallow Netflixing and Facebooking your life away...is a no go. Sure, opposites attract and there's nothing wrong with being with someone who inspires you. Quite frankly, you should pair up with someone who inspires you. However, the weight of the relationship being happy shouldn't be all on one person.

If you want to be with someone smart and able to roll in lots of green, there should be an equal amount of work on your end.